I'm running in circles around my brain trying to think. Should I tell him I like him or should I just let it play out. The last time I told a boy I liked him he played me like a joke. And I got burnt bad. I like this boy as you know from my other post and my friends say I should just tell him. But me and the boy were already friends and if he doesn't like me I don't want him to stop talking to me. Ughhhh this is so complicated. Why can't I just go up to him and be like hey your single, I'm single, lets mingle. Easy as 1,2,3. I like him, I think. But now should I tell him. I am a senior and after this year im leaving the state. Should I start a relationship or not??

Today. Was. The. Day. I. Was. Going. To. Get. My. Pretzel. I asked my sister if she can get me a preztel for my birthday. So today since she was off she picked me up from school and went to get me a preztel from the mall. I love pretzels. So I thought I was going to have the vast time ever. Turns out I'm just her little sister instead of being one of her friends. She was having issues with her fiancé and his baby mama. And was on the phone the whole time. It was like I wasn't even there. I miss the way we talk and I'm afraid that once she gets married she's just going to grow even more distant from me. Why can't things just go my way. Just once. I tried talking to her about my boy drama and she wouldn't even listen. That's why I'm posting two post tonight. See you on the next post.

To all the parents in the world, yeah, we get it. You and spouse doesn't ALWAYS get along, but do you see what that does on your kids? My parents are arguing right now, and I hate it. They have been arguing for three days now. My brother and I are walking on egg shells. If we slip once, we are scared they will take their anger out on us. My steppy (step parent), takes his anger out on the girls. That's also because my sister and I are not his kids. He tends to ignore us and not pay any attention to us. He also like to give more chores than necessary. But my brother on the other hand, is his best friend. Little does he know, it only takes a Peanut Butter Twix to get him back on our side. So right now, he got mad because I didn't tell my mother (whom I just got off the phone with five seconds before she pulled into the driveway) that we didn't have any batteries and he got mad and said we don't think about anybody but ourselves. He's been in our family for 15 years and should look at us like his own children, but as soon as an argument starts, we are the rotten ol' step children he got stuck with. Thanks "Dad" for being there for me for 15 years. I owe you one..NOT.

Today was my birthday. Well it still is but whatever. I went to school expecting attention.. Well I did get the attention and I loved it. But it was still a bad day. I got happy birthdays from from everyone, even people I didn't know. It was entertaining.. For a while. By the time I got to my last block (class) I was a mess, one of my four ex boyfriends text me some pretty awful things and I realized I despise him for ruining my birthday. Another part of my day was when my sandal got stepped on and broke by this over sized ape. (That may be mean but I'm getting tired of them[another story for another day]) do now by this time I'm walking around with one shoe, my box of various presents that was given to me by my friends, and on top of all of that, I had a test to do on the computer but someone thought it was funny if the turned it off. So thank you to all of those who go to my school and made my birthday a disaster. Happy Freaking Birthday to ME!

So the boy I like, you know, "Anthony". Well today was really fun. We play fought and hung out, during class. Which was alright. But I still had fun. I feel like we have this connection that I'm not sure he realized it yet. Whenever I'm around him, all I can do is smile or laugh. He's a real funny person. I love having class with him and its the highlight of my day(s) (since I see him 5 days a week). I wish we hung out after school though. I think we would be beautiful together. In fact, I actually think we would last. And that's real surprising for someone like me (who doesn't believe in long term relationships during high school) to say. Now only problem is, should I tell HIM that I like HIM? Or should I just wait until he finds out??

So today I was sooooo excited to give blood. I'm finally old enough to donate so I was really psyched, and nervous. All week I was anticipating this day. So this morning I got out of class at 7:55am since my appointment was at 8:00am. Walked down to the big old buses in the parking lot and signed in. The ladies thought I did this before but I reassured them and  told them that was my sister. When I got on one of the six buses, they asked me to read over something and then a girl that looked JUST LIKE Hayden Panettiere and I was going to say that until she told me I couldn't give blood. Can you believe it?? I've been waiting a WHOLE year to give blood in my last year of High School and the Hayden Panettiere lady says my iron is "TOO LOW". So I walked back to class with my head down trying not to cry... Yes! okay I want to cry. Like have you ever wanted to do something so bad and you finally get the chance to take a shot at it but someone tells you no cause your Iron is too low?? No? Yes? Maybe? Okay maybe is better than no. At least someone knows how it feels. On top of all of that, I DIDN'T GET MY FREE T-SHIRT. 

This morning, I walking past my school office cause I was looking for my friend.( she's my best friend and we do everything [majority of thing] together). So I was walking trying to look like a Billy Badass with my tight skinny jeans and lazy boy type shirt (a shirt you wouldn't wear on a day your trying to impress someone). And I was walking when I noticed my ex BOYFRIEND! I panicked, which you should never do lady's, and didn't notice the door being sung open and BAM! WHOOSH! KPLOOSH! (felt you guys needed some sound effects) I got hit by the door in front of him. Although he shouldn't be considered an ex cause we only dated for like a week. But still an ex is an ex and I was embarrassed. But the embarrassment passed when I saw him trip in the hallway earlier. So it's all good in the neighborhood. (your right, that did sound weird).

Today was NOT a good day. I woke up late and my mom was still sleep so I didn't get a kiss goodbye (you could say that's childish but it's the simple things that matter) I walked to the bus and was about to play my music like I do EVERY morning. But today, it was different. ALL OF MY MUSIC WAS DELETED. I was litteraly about to walk back to my house grab my laptop and transfer my music to my iPod on the bus. But I was already late so I didn't even bother. I didn't have any music or videos. I wanted to cry. A day without music is not a good day at all my friends. It was just down hill from there. I faile a test first period, left my binder for math at home, tripped down the hall walking to class, completely screwed up my art project, humiliate myself in front of "Anthony"( read Passing Notes if you don't get it) , and almost missed my lunch waiting in line. Today sucked all because there was no music in my life. Not even one song. I really was walking to classes singing to myself. I'm cool I know. Has anyone else experience this in your life??

So over the summer I did a good deed by buying $20 cookie dough from my little cousin so he could win something from the fundraiser. I didn't care what he was winning, I just knew what I was getting. So I left my home state cause vacation was over and they (grandmother) promised to send it to me. I was really excited about this cookie dough. White chip macadamia nuts oh my! So it's been a month and a half and my grandmother says shes going to go get the cookie dough from my cousin and send it to me. Only to find out that those rascals ate my freaking cookie dough!!!!!! $20 down the drain. I know we are family and all but they totally crossed the line when it comes to my cookie dough (a little dramatic, I know). I know people say kids will be kids but some kids need to learn what is theirs and what is not theirs. This is the problem these days, kids don't know what you and not allowed to go near and what they are. Like if someone had a gallon of cookie dough marked for someone else maybe you should think "oh I better not eat that". I just know one thing, someone better cough up $20 or a gallon of cookie dough. But I prefer the cookie dough.

I'm frustrated, confused, annoyed, and upset all at the same time. My parents doesn't want me to move out until I'm 18, a legal adult. But isn't graduating from high school being just as legal at 17? I'm going to be the only one of my friends that will still lives at home after graduating from high school. I know their attached to me but they need to learn how to let go. The only way I'll learn how to be my own person is if I can do things on my own, and them not wanting me to move out almost five months after graduating, forcing me to miss my first semester of college is absolutely repulsive. I know I'm about to sound like a whinny spoiled teenager but life is soooo unfair!!!!!